“Wedding planning is so stressful. I just want to get this day over with so I don’t have to stress about it anymore! ” Sadly, as a wedding coordinator I hear brides talk like this when they first come to me. When you think about it, it makes no sense. Couples plan their wedding for a year or longer, spend thousands and thousands of dollars in order to make the day special and then are just ready for it to be over already! What is it about wedding planning that is so stressful and what can be done to reduce the stress of wedding planning?
I could talk about many ways to reduce stress, but if I had to hone in on just one thing for this article it would be SYSTEMS. Why are systems important? Consider the following:
- Wedding planning involves many intricate details: managing a flow of to do’s, creating a theme, design, budgeting properly, creating a timeline, etc.
- It goes without saying that a system needs to be in place for ensuring all the components of planning happen & work together. Systems insure things get done. They encompass all aspects of a project so nothing is forgotten. They streamline a process to reduce chaos and feelings of stress.
- People naturally develop systems in their everyday lives based on personal experience of what works for them. Examples – house cleaning routines, daily schedule systems, meal plans, etc. The problem with weddings is that most people have NOT done it before and so have no experience. They are faced with a complex project and no system to put to work. They are forced then to borrow a system someone else has designed.
- The systems most people turn to are wedding planning checklists and tools found on the internet. The problem here is that many of these are lacking in one way or the other. A lot of checklists I see are great for the “big picture” planning stage – when to choose your vendors, buy your dress, rings, etc. but are incomplete when it comes to the all of the LOGISTICS. Some wedding planning guides are big and bulky, with beautiful, fancy pages to write in details that don’t even apply, so most people abandon those guides at some point & return to planning on their own.
- A good wedding coordinator or planner has developed a system based on experiences from many weddings. They will advise you of things you probably haven’t thought of because you’re new to this. They will understand your wedding, and the details that most be followed through to make your day flow properly. The earlier you can use their services the better, ideally. If you have room in your budget for a full wedding planner, great. But there are other options. Our Wedding Management program, for instance, starts 3 months out and works through the entire logistics planning stage, where many people need help the most. Partial planning packages provide more guidance through the entire planning journey and keep you on track.
Remember that good systems are stress reducers!
That stress of wedding planning is felt most within 2-3 months of the wedding date because that is when all the fine details of the day come into play. A wedding coordinator/planner with a great organizational system to guide you through it all is ideal! Knowing that you don’t have to think of everything on your own lifts a huge weight off your shoulders. Knowing that a professional is in charge of managing your day frees you to actually relax and CELEBRATE the day, not just wish it were over!